i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
I'm always down for nudity.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
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