Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
