I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Randomize
