chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
