Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
