I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Randomize
