ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
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