Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
