I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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