and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
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