i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
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