So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
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