fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
