I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Randomize
