At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
I am spending my child support on dildos
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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