I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Randomize
