KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
