He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Randomize
