How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Randomize
