I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
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