There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Randomize
