Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Pants 0. Shit 1.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
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