Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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