whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Randomize
