i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Randomize
