Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
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