They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
