Cold hands, warm shart.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
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