Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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