someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
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