Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
