I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
