i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
