ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
