Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Randomize
