how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Randomize
