We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Randomize
