it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
