Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
