Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
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