I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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