Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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