I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Randomize
