She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
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