I'm sorry my penis didn't work
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
