thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
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