I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
Randomize
