You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
