Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Randomize
