Duck Duck Cougar?
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Randomize
