i don't like sucking hair
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
Randomize
