Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
